bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
