i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
