We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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