Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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