U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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