Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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