his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
