I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
