It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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