Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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