It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
