Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
