I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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