i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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