im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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