You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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