Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
