hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
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