I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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