STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
