We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
