apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Houston, we have a squirter
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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