We're like a lot better than the average bears
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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