A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
