How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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