Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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