My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
