I wish my penis had an off switch
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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