Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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