Don't you send me to vm
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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