Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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