all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
