i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize