I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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