please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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