I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
