ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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