it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
