Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He passed out mid-signature
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
