You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Boobs are out for the taking
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
