people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize