These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
