Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
