K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
