i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
