I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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