i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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