He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Randomize
