why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
