Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
