Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
