Cold hands, warm shart.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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