It's like God shit irony all over that family
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
