a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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