I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
