He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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