it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
