It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
