when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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