dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
