you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
you inspire me to be a worse person
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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