i just had sex bonerless
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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