I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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