I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
