Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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