can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
